Why Nice Guys Don’t Get Girls – The Truth

Do you wonder why girls always go for the bad boys and why nice guys don’t get girls.  I have read a lot of articles on this and most blame the girls.  While of course the girls aren’t completely blameless, this article isn’t for girls, it’s for guys.  If you are one of those nice guys that get friend zoned often, the issue isn’t likely always the girl.  It’s your nice guy syndrome.

I have heard some of the things these so called nice guys say.  Things like, I probably should beat her and be mean, then she will like me.  Women just want a free meal or drink.  They say this one most likely because they buy that drink thinking it will make the girl like them.  Buying a girl a drink is not what makes her like you by the way.  Nice guys often don’t talk very highly of women at all.  They are searching for reasons for the parade of rejection they have experienced and are searching everywhere but in the mirror.

Maybe we should explore the things women like about bad boys first and it’s not getting beat or treating them meanly.  It’s the confidence that a bad boy has.  It’s how he doesn’t need her constant validation and approval.  He isn’t scared to rock the boat because he is sure of himself and won’t compromise his principles.

I have found that nice guys are pleasers.  They over give and it feels like they are desperate for your love.  They put you on a pedestal and really being on a pedestal is not fun.  It’s hard to balance up there.   A pedestal is small and confining.

Nice guys fear conflict and often just give in.  Then they sing the song and dance of how they sacrifice and remind you of everything they do for you and you show no appreciation?  The take on the role of martyrs when their efforts aren’t appreciated.  We don’t want martyrs, that’s just emotional blackmail and manipulation.  We want a partner strong enough to challenge us at times, fearlessly!

A woman thinks if a man can’t stand up to me, he likely won’t be able to stand up to anyone else either.  Nice guys do not like not being liked and will do about anything to avoid this.  They tell people, not just the women in their lives what they think they want to hear to gain acceptance.  Women crave a man who can and will stand up to her and others.  Women want to feel protected and we just don’t get that feeling with the nice guy.

Nice guys spend so much time being nice, that they don’t get their own needs met in relationships.  When a man is always nice, women sense on a very deep level that they really don’t know him.  Women can’t feel safe with him because they know he is hiding who he truly is.  Nice guys because of this reason often have issues with emotional intimacy.  They can’t be real because they fear on a deeper level that they will not be accepted for who they really are.

Speaking of intimacy, women sometimes want to be manhandled a bit.  We want to know you are in charge.  We don’t want to have sex with guys that can’t take charge, we don’t feel the attraction.  You can read about why I stopped having sex with  my boyfriend here. 

Nice guys don’t get girls mostly because they are hooked on the acceptance and validation of the girl as opposed to just being real and authentically who they are.  In essence they are trying to get love with a behavior and behavior at a core level has little to do with attraction.

So why don’t nice guys get the girls, the truth?  Because they aren’t so nice after all.  If you have keep getting friend zoned, chances are good you have the nice guy syndrome.  You can be nice and still be tough.  If you don’t know how to get rid of the nice guy syndrome, please do yourself a favor and learn.  We need more tough nice guys in this world and we are counting on you to have to courage to do something about it.  Check out nice guys with an edge.






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