Why Doesn’t He Text First Anymore?

why doesn't he text me first

When he never texts first, it makes a girl wonder doesn’t it. I mean he answers you so all must be well.  Still, something feels off if you are the one doing all the work and there is a good reason it feels this way. So why doesn’t he text first anymore? Is he pulling away?

Reason #1 Why Doesn’t He Text First

why doesn't he text me firstHe doesn’t have to anymore.  You have taken over his job for him. You are the one that takes control of things.  You text him for things like asking him what are the plans for the weekend, what time is he coming over, or you wake him up with good morning text messages in the mornings.

When you take over his job for him, you step into the masculine role, and he loses interest in texting you first.  It’s no longer fun.  You have taken the joy of the chase completely out it, and he is bored.  He can count on you like clockwork to text him and it’s just no fun anymore.

You become predictable and predictable I must tell you equals boring.  Not to mention you aren’t giving him a chance to lead the relationship.  Men instinctively want to lead.  You are depriving him of this by texting him first.

Do you wonder what would happen if you stopped texting him, but at the same time, in the back of your mind it scares you.  You think if you don’t text him, he may just stop texting you?   I call it holding His hand, trying to have some control as to where the relationship goes.  In reality you are not helping yourself by texting him first everyday.

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If he never texts first chances are you aren’t giving him a chance.  You wake up, try to make it until lunch time without hearing from him and your knee jerk reaction is to seek some instant gratification.  You reach for your phone and send that first text.

By not allowing him space to lead the relationship, you are in essence trying to control it.  Men and control aren’t a good mix.  This is when guys start losing attraction, yet can’t put their finger on why.  You may get a it’s not you, it’s me excuse.

You are also doing his job for him.  You are stepping into the masculine role when you text him first.  If he never texts first, it’s because he doesn’t have to.  When a woman steps into his role, he becomes uninspired.

Reason #2 Why He Stopped Texting First

he won't text me firstHe is trying to pace you, put some distance between you.  If you are the one texting him first all the time, he may feel that you are more invested and further along in this relationship than he is.  He is not on the same page as you.  Your expectations of where it’s going have exceeded his.

When you start texting first, you are showing signs of control.  You text to get a particular outcome and he feels your needy energy.  Again, texting is just not fun anymore.

Linda mailed me a few weeks ago telling me her boyfriend never makes plans with her.  She always is the one to text him on Thursday and ask him what they are going to be doing over the weekend.  She had a fear that if she didn’t, they would not spend time together.  Texting him first on Thursday was her way of controlling and making sure that did not happen.

What she didn’t realize is she didn’t give him any space to step up.  When you don’t give a man space, to be the man, they tend to just stop trying.

If a man isn’t texting you and you are always texting him first, back up, you are going to send him running for the hills soon enough if you don’t stop. He is going to eventually pull away.  Guys will keep girls around as back up.  You want to make sure you aren’t just a back up girl and you won’t know this if you keep on initiating by texting him first.  You are actually giving him control by texting him first and putting yourself out of control.

Reason #3  Why He Doesn’t Text First Anymore

he never texts me first anymoreOften time guys will stop texting you or slow down the texting because you simply aren’t making them feel good.  Do you complain about his texting habits or whine when he does something that makes you feel bad like taking too long to text you back?  Maybe you even get bitchy or sarcastic about it.

Men don’t like to disappoint and when you continually complain and expect them to behave in certain ways, they begin to feel they just can’t make you happy no matter what they do.  Men fall in love with how a woman makes them feel and if you are doing a lot of complaining and pointing out his behavior flaws, he isn’t feeling good in your presence.  This will make a man slow his roll and stop texting you first faster than anything.

Learn to speak the Language of Desire that men crave!

Another thing to consider if he never texts you first is perhaps he really isn’t that into you to start with.  You might want to stop now and evaluate the relationship and if and how you can turn this around and have him chasing you instead of you chasing him.  Men really do like the chase, but they aren’t going to just get rid of a girl because she chases.  He will keep her around as an option while he finds another to chase.

If you are complaining as to why he never texts first, don’t always place the blame on the guy, the blame may very well be with you and the role of pursuer that you have chosen to play.  Do you know what really makes guys tick and what causes them to attach?  It’s not you texting him first I assure you.

You texting first is masculine energy and guys fall in love with feminine energy, not masculine.  How many other areas of the relationship are you carrying the load with your masculine energy.

You can use texting to take you relationships to higher levels.  It’s not all in what you do, but often in what you don’t do with your text messages.  You can learn to be textually attractive with a few changes in words, actions and techniques of your texting.

If you haven’t checked out Text the Romance, it can turn your relationship from boring to spicy with just a few text messages delivered at the right time.



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